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The current period marks a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the words this generation is using to talk about romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies going for someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {