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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?